Let’s just get this out of the way: Heart Eyes is what happens when a Hallmark movie stumbles into a Scream sequel, drunk off cheap rosé and armed with a machete. It’s a film that, somehow, manages to be both an earnest rom-com and a blood-soaked slasher, like if You’ve Got Mail had a body count. And in the hands of Josh Ruben (Werewolves Within, Scare Me), it’s exactly as twisted and funny as that sounds.

Ruben himself summed it up best in an interview, saying he pitched Heart Eyes as “my version of Jason Lives in a Nora Ephron universe.” And if that doesn’t sell you on the tone, then congratulations on having a well-adjusted brain, unlike the rest of us who saw that description and immediately bought a ticket.

Seattle. Valentine’s Day. A masked serial killer dubbed “The Heart Eyes Killer” (or HEK, because we love a snappy acronym) is once again on the prowl, targeting couples who are unlucky enough to be in love—or, more specifically, unlucky enough to look like they’re in love. Enter Ally (Olivia Holt, Totally Killer), a cynical advertising executive whose hobbies include dunking on romance and Insta-stalking her ex. Then there’s Jay (Mason Gooding, Scream, Scream VI, Fall), a freelance marketing guru and human golden retriever who somehow lands in her orbit.

Through the magic of rom-com contrivances, Ally and Jay end up fake-dating just long enough to land on HEK’s kill list. From there, it’s a chaotic game of cat and mouse, complete with near-death experiences, uncomfortably well-timed meet-cutes, and a romantic subplot that plays out under the looming threat of dismemberment. So, you know, pretty much like every first date in your twenties.

Ruben and writers Michael Kennedy (Freaky, Time Cut, It’s a Wonderful Knife) and Christopher Landon (Happy Death Day, Disturbia, Paranormal Activity sequels) clearly understand both horror and rom-com formulas, and Heart Eyes thrives in the way it skewers—and simultaneously embraces—both.

On one hand, the film treats romance like a joke, poking fun at grand gestures, forced chemistry, and the social media-fueled pressure to be in love. But on the other, it seems to suggest that love—real, messy, inconvenient love—might be worth all the cringe. It’s this weird but compelling tension that makes Heart Eyes stand out.

Even the Heart Eyes Killer seems confused about it. His whole schtick starts as an anti-Instagram vendetta, punishing influencer couples for their staged perfection. But then he goes after genuine connections, which, honestly, makes him sound like the kind of guy who got ghosted on Tinder too many times and took it personally. Someone get this man a therapist.

Every great slasher flick needs a memorable villain, and Heart Eyes certainly tries to deliver one. The glowing red heart-shaped eyes? Creepy as hell. The weaponry? Inspired—crossbow-wielding Cupids, machetes, and even a wine press murder (because nothing says “screw your vineyard proposal” like death by grape crushing).

But as a character, HEK feels a little… unfocused. He’s part Scream, part My Bloody Valentine, but without the clear personality that makes those killers iconic. Josh Ruben himself admitted he wanted HEK to have a “sensual” presence, even drawing influence from Hellraiser’s Pinhead, which is interesting, but does anyone really need a serial killer with BDE?

Ultimately, HEK’s motivation gets a little muddy, making him more of a vibe than a fully fleshed-out antagonist. Still, with enough brutal kills and a design that would kill at Spirit Halloween, he gets the job done.

Visually, Heart Eyes leans hard into the aesthetic contrast between romance and horror. Cinematographer Stephen Murphy (No One Gets Out Alive) balances warm, rom-com-style lighting for the couple’s budding relationship with shadowy, Silence of the Lambs-inspired POV shots for HEK’s pursuit.

The film also knows when to embrace its ridiculousness. One chase scene takes place in a botanical garden, another at a drive-in showing His Girl Friday, because apparently nothing says “classic romance” like running for your life. And speaking of visuals, can we talk about how much this film looks like a Pretty Little Liars fever dream? At times, it’s so aggressively aesthetic that it feels like someone accidentally dropped an Urban Outfitters catalog onto the color grading software. But hey, at least it’s never boring.

The script is packed with self-aware humor, much of it delivered with deadpan precision by Olivia Holt, whose character feels like a rom-com heroine that wandered onto the set of a horror movie and just rolled with it. Mason Gooding is equally great—charming, funny, and just self-aware enough to not be annoying. Their chemistry works, even if you spend half the movie yelling, “PLEASE STOP FLIRTING AND RUN.”

And then there’s the supporting cast: Jordana Brewster and Devon Sawa play two cops named Hobbs and Shaw (yes, like those Hobbs and Shaw), in a joke that’s either hilarious or completely exhausting depending on how much you like Fast & Furious references. Ruben has been vocal about the balancing act between horror and comedy, saying, “The wonderful thing about it is that the romance is a conduit to lure folks into a sense of complacency to really volley the horror.” Which is a fancy way of saying, “Yeah, we made you care about these dumbasses before putting them in mortal danger.” Mission accomplished. That all being said, this writer personally doesn’t care for horror comedy largely because the balance must be just right. Ruben, I dare say, is one of the best around these days that seems to have the skill to get it right.

Strengths:

✔ Genuinely funny – The comedy lands, and the self-aware genre jokes never feel forced.
✔ Great chemistry – Holt and Gooding sell the romance, even when they’re covered in blood.
✔ Inventive kills – One guy gets his head smashed like a rotten pumpkin. 10/10, no notes.
✔ A fun premise – The slasher-rom-com blend almost feels like it should’ve existed sooner.

Weaknesses:

✘ HEK isn’t quite iconic – Cool design, but no real hook beyond “kills couples.”
✘ Some pacing issues – The midsection drags, especially in the police station scenes.

At its best, Heart Eyes is a ridiculously entertaining slasher that’s equal parts funny, brutal, and weirdly sweet. At its worst, it’s a little too self-conscious for its own good, with an identity crisis that mirrors the dating scene it’s poking fun at. Josh Ruben himself seems to acknowledge its place in the horror-comedy landscape, saying, “Could I do Nora Ephron meets Jason Lives without winking too much?” The answer is… mostly.

So, should you see it? Heart Eyes is a very fun Valentine’s Day watch. If you just want a straight-up slasher, you might find yourself rolling your eyes more than your heart. Either way, it’s an entertaining, bloody date night movie. Just, uh… maybe don’t propose afterward.