What You Wish For: Gordon Ramsay, Hold My Knife

Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re diving into the twisted mess that is What You Wish For, a film that hits like a tequila shot with a Tabasco chaser. Nicholas Tomnay (The Perfect Host), the sick genius behind this flick, gives us a cocktail of suspense, horror, and high-stakes kitchen drama, all starring the ever-underrated Nick Stahl (Sin City, Let the Right One In, What Josiah Saw, Locke & Key). If you’re into watching someone’s life swirl down the toilet in a spectacular fashion, this one’s for you.

So, we kick off with our boy Ryan, played by Stahl, looking like he’s been chewed up and spit out by life. Dude’s drowning in gambling debt and getting texts from some shady character named “Rabbit,” who, I assume, isn’t bringing him fluffy bunnies and Easter eggs. No, Ryan’s running for his life to some unnamed South American hellhole, hoping to crash with his old culinary school buddy, Jack.

Now, Jack’s living it up in a mansion that screams, “I’m rich, but also probably up to some sketchy shit.” Ryan, looking rough around the edges, is instantly green with envy. Jack’s got money, a killer pad, and what seems like the dream job: flying around the world cooking for rich assholes. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that if it looks too good to be true, it’s probably hiding a body in the freezer.

Stahl, bless his heart, brings Ryan to life with this constant look of “What fresh hell is this?” The guy’s got this quiet desperation that makes you almost feel bad for him—until you remember he’s neck-deep in gambling debt because he couldn’t resist the call of the slots. He’s like a walking, talking cautionary tale about why you shouldn’t gamble away your life savings.

Enter Jack, played by Brian Groh, who’s living large but also seems about as happy as a cat in a bath. He’s got this haunted, jaded look, like he’s seen some shit. And spoiler alert: he has. The dynamic between Ryan and Jack is the cinematic equivalent of watching a puppy try to play with a snake. Ryan’s all wide-eyed and hopeful, thinking he can weasel his way into Jack’s cushy setup, while Jack’s too busy having a mental breakdown to notice. I can’t really say too much more without dropping this here:

The plot kicks into high gear when Jack decides to peace out of life, leaving Ryan with a golden opportunity—and a body to hide. So what does Ryan do? He assumes Jack’s identity, of course! Because what could go wrong with that brilliant plan? Turns out, a lot. Like, a shit ton.

Ryan’s now in Jack’s shoes, dealing with some seriously shady characters. Tamsin Topolski (Penny Dreadful, Slow Horses) plays Imogene, the icy puppet master pulling the strings. She’s got this polite but menacing vibe, like a British schoolteacher who’d smile sweetly while setting your homework on fire. Imogene’s there to make sure Ryan—now faux-Jack—keeps up the charade and cooks for some high-rolling clients who are more Hannibal Lecter than Gordon Ramsay.

The suspense in What You Wish For is tighter than my jeans after Thanksgiving dinner. Tomnay does this Hitchcockian thing where every scene feels like it’s about to explode. Remember the scene in Psycho where Norman Bates is sinking the car and it stalls? That’s the vibe here. You’re on the edge of your seat, biting your nails, even though you’re rooting for a guy who’s basically a scumbag.

Now, let’s talk about the culinary aspect. Ryan has to whip up a gourmet meal while keeping his real identity under wraps and not getting murdered by his psycho employers. It’s tense, it’s twisted, and it’s like watching someone juggle chainsaws while blindfolded. The food scenes are done with such precision you’d think you were watching a high-stakes cooking show, if not for the constant undercurrent of “Who’s gonna die next?”

But hey, not everything’s perfect. The plot has some holes big enough to drive a food truck through. Like, how the hell does nobody at this super-exclusive cooking gig recognize that Ryan isn’t Jack? I mean, come on! You’d think someone would notice. And then there’s the matter of Ryan’s miraculous fake ID, ordered online and delivered like it’s a pair of socks from Amazon. Suspension of disbelief, folks, you’re gonna need a bit.

Despite these hiccups, the film keeps you hooked. Stahl’s performance is the glue holding this crazy mess together. He’s got this anti-hero thing down pat, making you root for him even as he’s spiraling further into a moral cesspool. And Topolski as Imogene? She’s a cold, calculating force of nature. You can’t take your eyes off her.

The film’s climax is as messy and chaotic as you’d expect. Ryan’s juggling so many lies, it’s a wonder his head doesn’t pop off. The tension ramps up to a fever pitch, and just when you think it can’t get crazier, it does. The final scenes leave you with that twisted sense of satisfaction, like finishing a particularly gory horror movie and realizing you need a shower.

In the end, What You Wish For is a wild ride through the darker side of ambition and envy. It’s a reminder that the grass isn’t always greener, and sometimes, it’s hiding a minefield. Tomnay’s film is a gritty, suspenseful thrill, packed with dark humor and enough twists to keep you guessing. If you’re into psychological thrillers with a side of culinary chaos, this one’s a must-watch.